| | Anna’s life had been most simple, most ordinary, and therefore most terrible. She had always been the ‘good’ daughter, the dutiful one, the obedient one. Where her younger sister had rebelled, she had fallen into line. Anna had gotten perfect grades, had been accepted into the college of her choice, had finished two semesters ahead of time. She had the perfect boyfriend, who she had known since childhood, begun dating in high school, and then married at the age of twenty-four. And then, almost exactly two years after that, she gave birth to the perfect little son, a tiny ball of blond hair and pink skin that had his mother’s eyes. Mother of God, Anna was bored. Anna’s sister had always been the one to go against their mother’s wishes. To run off at eighteen and marry a boy that their mother hated. To tell the older woman to fuck off, that it was her life and no one else’s. To be incredibly, completely, disgustingly happy. Anna wished she was more like Zarah. But, truth be told, Anna would probably never change. She loved her husband, loved her son, loved her mother, loved her wild little sister. Really, she didn’t want to rebel, or at least, that was what she told herself. But somewhere deep inside, Anna wondered what it would be like to tell them all that she was leaving, going off to be Anna. Or to find out who Anna was in the first place. For a long time, though, Anna-who-really-didn’t-know-Anna-at-all did nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. Anna changed diapers. She made birthday cakes. She cleaned the house, trying to make life easier for her perfect husband, who she knew certainly appreciated all the hard work she put in for him. She dropped her golden-haired little boy off at preschool, then later at kindergarten. She attended PTA meetings, and became the leader of her niece’s brownie troop, since Zarah was currently in Chile on an archaeological dig. She hemmed her son’s perfect little girlfriend’s prom gown, and took pictures at his graduation. And then finally, one day, Anna left a note on the kitchen counter informing her husband that she was currently en route to Maui. And she stayed in Maui for a good few weeks, not taking any phone calls expect to inform her family that she was indeed alive and not kidnapped. Anna had her back rubbed by a handsome young man fifteen years younger than she was. She danced on the beach, and got to bury herself in books she’d been piling on the ‘to read when she had time’ shelf for years. She got herself a lovely bronzed glow, and returned to her perfect little house, to her perfect husband and her perfect son (who was on vacation from college). And she stood there and looked at the two of them for a very long time before handing one a vacuum and the other a mop. And Anna, the real Anna, who now knew who Anna really was, informed them that she was going shopping with her friends, and she expected the house to be clean when she got back. Anna was going to live for herself, because she’d discovered that she liked it |
